Track To The Future!

BRDG skaters Hell Cat, Lazy Susan and Scarlett O'Harma were honoured to be a part of the brilliant Track To The Future double header in Hereford on Sunday.

After helping to bring home a win for Team Tannen in a nail-biting opening mixed bout, they're still on a massive high, and would like to say a huge thank you to Hereford Roller Girls (especially Minxy Dodd for her organisational super powers.)

What a perfect way to spend a Sunday...

Happy 1 Year Derbyversary Bath Roller Derby!

We checked the records and exactly a year ago, to this day, a group of overly excited, wobbly would-be roller derby players were strapping on skates, gagging on cheap mouth guards and trying to figure out which way their knee pads went as they assembled at Green Park Station.

Yep, Bath Roller Derby Girls first ever session was exactly a year ago - which means our little league has officially made it through its first year and turns one today! What a ridiculously amazing year it's been...

The Dawn Of Time

Displaying Spartan levels of stoic badassery, we soldiered through the dark initial days - skating in a freezing former railway station, never flinching as we pulled splinter after splinter from our bums, and maintaining a zen-like tolerance of the little kids who kicked footballs at us while we stretched out...

It took a huge effort to get the league off the ground, and we owe a big thank you to Bristol Roller Derby at that time, for the loan of their spare kit, and for their help coaching sessions way back at the beginning - especially Tess, Matt and Jet. We count ourselves very lucky to have such awesome derby neighbours.

I think even with the puddles, and the passing drunks and the massive sign that said "No Skating" and attracted many a disapproving OAP, we knew we were on to a good thing...

Winter Is Coming: The Nomadic Days

It is a truth universally acknowledged that you shouldn't have to wear gloves and a scarf to training. Green Park was open to the elements and we started to freeze. The nights drew in and our epic quest for a permanent home began... Drawing a blank with Bath's halls, we started a nomadic existence, shuttling between Frome and Corsham venues.

Having just escaped the splintery perils of Green Park, traveling was a brand new pain in the arse (made ten times harder by Hell Cat's ability to seemingly curse all cars she traveled in with engine failure, structural damage or general explosion.)

We were starting to kind of get this derby thing though. The league was lucky to have some great coaches - Petra Bomb and Nikalicious Vicious led lots of our sessions - and although passing Min Skills still seemed like an age away, slowly but surely we started ticking those bad boys off the list. Ploughing was now a viable alternative to steaming straight into the wall... When we fell (and oh how we fell), we fell small...


The winter months ticked by, and we started to ramp up the social side of the league. We had an awesome Christmas social (ice skating - our time at Green Park had not prepared us for this as well as we thought it might) and held our first ever Booze and Bearings night. It was probably around this time that we started to realise quite how big a role roller derby was going to play in our lives, as whole weekends got swallowed by  training, traveling to watch bouts and generally getting drunk together discussing the finer tactical points of the sport. Our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, pets and children huddled hungry in cold, unlit houses - shivering, remembering happier times...


The Tro-Bo Diaries

The floor at Corsham got worse every week, and with new skaters swelling our ranks, we'd outgrown Frome and it's lethal hidden stacks of furniture. The next move was to Trowbridge; home of the lovely, lovely floor of dreams. Suddenly 25 in 5 didn't seem like such an impossible task - we started passing Minimum Skills! We've come on in leaps and bounds since we've been skating here - and aside form the amazing dedication of our own coaches, we also need to thank folks for the fantastic guest coaching we've received from Kid Block and Boba Fettish of the Tiger Bay Brawlers and the ladies of Seven Roller Torrent (especially Fear, who is awesome.)

With a bunch of us Min Skills passed, we also started preparing to take on other real life roller girls. Ho. Lee. Sheet. We had to kick things up a gear: this called for a training montage!

We popped our cherry to the Devon Clotted Screamers. What can I say, you never forget your first. We've remained really good friends with these girls - if you ever get a chance to play them, or just hang out, jump at it. They are brilliant. We love you Screamers!

Fresh Meat Delivery!

And suddenly it was time to recruit Fresh Meat! This was amazing, and felt like such a huge step! Our 10 week course was fully booked, with a waiting list - and we were blown away by the tenacity, enthusiasm and sheer brilliance of our new recruits.

Taking charge of all training was our beloved HC Blondage - who roams the globe like some kind of roller derby Gandalf, sprinkling magic and cider on everyone she passes (last spotted in Amsterdam, killing it on Team No Sleep.) Fresh Meat aced the course, graduating to league training at the end of the 10 weeks with no problem at all - we can't wait to get everyone up to Min Skills level and skating out with us.

It's been brilliant to see Bath Roller Derby grow from a couple of girls nursing pints around a pub table and talking about starting something, to 35+ regular skaters, refs and NSOs. We celebrated their graduation in style with a Debutantes Crawl...

Some Other Highlights...

Our darling Wheelia Smith got WED! She didn't even slack off training to avoid wedding picture arm bruises! We gave her a suitably epic send off, and still got up the next morning to run the Bath Race For Life.

This is a video of the first big 'derby weekend' we spent together as a team: fantastic South West bout, Booze & Bearings party, topped off with a training session. Phew.

Another HUGE deal was our Derby Come Dine With Me contest! Designed to get the whole team mixing (and fat) - for months on end we threw and attended some of the best themed dinner parties known to man...

 

     

We also had a lot of fun supporting our beloved Petra "Petra's Gonna Get Ya" Bomb in her own bout with the Harbour Harlots Bees!

There's SO MUCH MORE I could add to this already epic post - but if I don't stop writing soon then it will be tomorrow, and no longer our 1 Year Derbyversary... To sum up and hopefully without getting too mushy; Bath Roller Derby is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever been involved with. It's made the last year one of the best of my whole life, and I know its introduced me to people who I'll be friends with until I'm an old, old lady, looking approvingly on at kids skating in places where skating is forbidden.

A huge thank you to everyone who's coached us, supported our fundraisers, driven us to training, traveled to play with us, slapped ice packs on our bruises, cheered us on and generally made the last 12 months all the fun they've been.

I can't wait to see what the next year holds for Bath Roller Derby. Love and shoves, everyone - happy birthday BRDG x.

Words: Hell Cat
Photos: Assorted BRDG!
Videos: Hell Cat

  

Fresh Meat - Summer 2013

Ever wondered what it's like to join a Roller Derby league? Huge thanks to one of our most dedicated, motivated and generally wonderful Freshies, Hen, for the following write up!

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About 2 or 3 years ago I once spent all day in bed, and I mean aaaaall day; I only got up to make myself cups of tea and food which I’d then consume back under the duvet, until I went back to sleep  for the rest of the night. 

Until May of this year, I’d considered that day to be pretty much uncontested for the title of Best Thing I Have Ever Done, but then a challenger suddenly came out of nowhere and now a recount has been called. 

Fresh Meat with BRDG has been an amazing and completely unexpected experience. Long-time friend and BRDG team captain Steg O’Soar had been subtly, and then not-so-subtly, hinting that I should look into roller derby for a few months but I’d never seriously believed I’d actually do it. 

Fresh Meat line up at the very first session of our 10 week course (Pic Credit - Hazel Freear)

I was quite surprised when I actually pressed send on the “yep, I’ll do it” text when she told me that a new intake of skaters would be happening soon. I have no business joining a roller derby league: I  had never worn a pair of skates in my life let alone played a team sport. Somehow I didn’t think that  my experience of “fielding” (walking as far away from the actual game as possible with my pal Lucy and sitting down to chat on the grass) in rounders at school was going to help me much. I’d also not voluntarily exercised for a loooong time. All these factors might make you believe that I’d turn up to the first practice and totally suck…

And I did! My first sessions on skates I needed a minimum of one of the BRDG helpers just to help me stay upright and moving forward. If I was feeling especially bold, I’d raise my hands a few inches above their forearms for a few seconds, before slamming them back down. Apologies if anyone still has claw marks in their arms from this. 

I absolutely wasn’t a comfortable or natural skater and I’m still not. I can move around the track  unaided now and I’m slowly but surely picking up speed, but I still haven’t totally lost that sense of  nervousness from having 8 wheels strapped to my feet. The list of basic skating skills I’m terrible at is  pretty darn long, but so is the list of things I suck at less than when I first attempted them. And that  feels incredible. 

Demos from Blondage & Steg (Pic Credit - Hazel Freear)

I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person to discover that practising a skill you find insanely hard until you can do it is really satisfying, but I’m always surprised by how often I get that feeling in derby. In the immortal words of Jake the Dog from Adventure Time “Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something” 

And being bad at something you want to be good at is really hard. At best it’s challenging fun, like destroying your brother’s Sims family without him knowing it was definitely you, but at worst it’s utterly frustrating, like when you come home from a sleepover and the Sims family you’ve been  working on for months suddenly all hate each other and the house you built for them is covered in their own urine. 

Despite finding it hard work (physically as well as mentally) training has become the highlight of my week since I’ve started. Like an excited child counting down the days until Christmas, I’m usually thinking about how long it will be until I get to kit up and skate again. This isn’t just because I enjoy circling a track and making poorly timed and clunky attempts at crossovers, but also because I get to  spend two hours in the company of some of the coolest people I’ve ever met. 

I would never have been able to predict how brilliantly social a sport roller derby is. I’m struggling  to think of a single person I’ve come across during my time with BRDG that I’m not super excited to know. Doing something slightly better than you were last week? Chances are at least one person will  loudly announce to you how awesome you are, while you mumble something resembling “thanks”  just in case there’s actually someone with your name standing directly behind you, doing backflips on skates.

Fresh Meat's first ever pace line (Pic Credit - Hazel Freear)

I’m convinced the biggest reason I’ve found derby such ridiculous fun so far is because of the people I get to do it with. I do sometimes wonder how there can be such a large group of people who can be  as friendly, funny, smart and talented as the women and men I’ve met through BRDG. It just doesn’t  seem logical that something this good can exist in a world that has Mrs Brown’s Boys or BT Customer  Service call centres in it. 

I might have to spend another whole day in bed just to be sure, but at the moment I’m thinking that joining BRDG Fresh Meat might just be the best decision I’ve ever made.

Do You Remember The First Time? Bath Roller Derby Girls Vs. Devon Clotted Screamers!

A long overdue post to record our first ever closed door bout with the very lovely Devon Clotted Screamers! Having travelled to Barnstaple for some shared training and scrimming earlier in the year, we were really happy to have the chance to repay some of the Screamers' amazing hospitality and play them on home turf. On July 14th they braved the heatwave and M5 holiday traffic to join us at Withywood.

It was a fast-paced, fun few hours, with both teams sending out very eager rosters. It was clear how much work both teams had put in over the few months since we'd last played together, with a huge improvement in everyone's tactical game play especially noticeable. After a few scrappy first jams, both teams seemed to find their stride and level out, continuing to push each other and keep the pressure on until the final whistle(s). Lots of love to all who reffed and NSO'ed (lots of first timers!) - and special thanks to XiXi Stomp for sorting our line ups, and MatLovin for being our first ever Bench Coach (we promise to do some listening drills in the coming weeks!)

Lou Boot'in takes a corner (Pic Credit - David Payne)

Wheelia Smith comes up against a strong Screamer defence... (Pic Credit - David Payne)

Wheelia making it through with a little help from Hardcore Blondage, Steg O'Saur and Scarlet O'Harma (Pic Credit - David Payne)

Hadouken! (Pic Credit - David Payne)

After a super sweaty couple of hours, we de-padded, wrung out our hair and headed outside to cool off and decide on who to award our bout certificates to. We also gave out some special BRDG goodie bags to thank the Screamers for coming so far to play us; stickers, badges, chewing gum, popping candy and some neon sticking plasters, just in case ;)

Goodie Bags! (Pic Credit - Hell Cat)

Next up; group photo and certificates! Deciding on MVP, Best Blocker and Jammer was tough, but luckily we had some customised cupcakes as brain fuel... In the end awards went to;

MVP Bath - Foxy Hard Knox 

Best Blocker Bath - Hardcore Blondage

Best Jammer Bath - Kerri Kon Karnage

MVP Screamers - Rolls Moyse

Best Blocker Screamers - Whippety Split

Best Jammer Screamers - Becky Spaghetti

Pleasing team kit colours coordination! (Pic Credit - David Payne)

After the prize giving, both teams hoped into oven-like cars to drive all over Bristol looking for a picnic spot (which Hell Cat had been assured was very easy to find!) What felt like several hours later (waaah, sorry again guys!) we finally found Leigh Woods, where we proceeded to demolish indecent amounts of Jaffa Cakes. Perfect end to an awesome day.

 

Mythical picnic spot! (Pic Credit - Hell Cat)

Thanks again for coming to play us Screamers - we couldn't have lost our bouting cherry to nicer girls!  Looking forward to seeing you all again soon :)

Bath's Been Busy!

It was a busy weekend for Bath Roller Derby! Sunday saw several of our league players shipped out to various scrims and bouts - we had a blast playing with other teams!

First up, Steg O'Soar, Scarlett O'Harma, Smasha Cake and TinkerHell headed off to Cheltenham for the Severn Roller Torrent Vs. Central City Roller Girls Slaybelles bout, to play in the opening mixed bout: Dinosaurs vs. Unicorns! This was the intrepid foursome's first ever public bout (and Tink's first bout full stop!) Safe to say our resident dino-lover and venerable captain, Steg, had been waiting her whole life for this moment (as was perhaps evident from her bout program photo!)

The bout was an epic showcase of mytho-legendary proportions, with TinkerHell and Scarlett O'Harma skating for Team Unicorn, and Smasha Cake and Steg O'Soar rolling for the Dinosaurs. With an array of impressive moves from both teams, it's no surprise that the crowd was baying for more magical bloodshed; but after a thrilling clash of fantastical titans, Dinosaurs clawed their way to victory with a final score of 214-122.

Let's get mythical... (Pic credit - Rebecca Timms)

Not to be outshone, our very own Scarlett (subbing in for the injured Shock & Awedrey) was awarded the 'Derby Crush' award for her glittering performance on track - congratulations Scarlett! (and here hoping the real Shock & Awedrey is fighting fit and back on skates soon!)

Damn right she's your derby crush <3 (Pic credit - Pete Florey MDP Images)

Meanwhile, over in Bristol, Hell Cat, Lazy Susan and a last minute Tan Grenade were incredibly excited to be part of the Bristol Roller Derby Harry Potter Graduate Scrimmage! The girls played in both of the spell-binding 30 minute scrims - one of which was their first ever foray into the world of co-ed derby - and loved every second. Skating first for Ravenclaw and then Hufflepuff, they chalked up one defeat (to a bewitching Slytherin) and one magical last minute win (against Gryffindor)- with a lot of time out on the track and only a couple of spells in "detention" (penalty box!) between them ;)

We have a ton of respect for the amazingness of Bristol Roller Derby, and getting to be a part of this afternoon, especially sharing the excitement as Fresh Meat underwent their Sorting Hat ceremony to be allocated to their new league team, was a real honour. From the cake pops and ref costumes to the house banners hanging on the wall and the Diagon Alley themed merch stall - it was clear how much work had gone into making the day really special for the Fresh Meat, who'd obviously been putting heaps of effort into passing their Minimum Spells too. 10 points to BRD!

Lazy Susan, Hell Cat & Tan Grenade - knackered, post-scrim sweaty Betties!

Success & Limericks! The First BRDG Pub Quiz...

A full house for the first BRDG Pub Quiz...

A huge thank you to everyone who turned up for the first BRDG Pub Quiz fundraiser - it was a massive success! We packed out our spiritual home, The Hobgoblin, and Quizmeistress Hell Cat (that's me!) put everyone through their paces; 6 rounds of questioning, picture rounds plus a creative challenge for a bonus!

The evening went so well that we're considering making it a regular event - so don't worry if you missed out, we'll be back soon.

We were raising money for our upcoming insurance renewal. Now that we're getting up to bouting level, we'd love to put on some live roller derby for the folks of Bath, and to do this, we'll need increased public liability insurance - which this quiz will help us afford!

One of the challenges facing the teams was to writing their own roller derby limericks - they were so awesome, I've been asked to post them here - enjoy!

Prizes! BRDG Vegan Chocolate Cupcakes & Babycham!

Bath Roller Derby Limericks...

A young derby player from Bath
Enjoyed the occasional half.
She put on her skates,
And rolled out the gate,
Then she feel in a heap on the path.

The was a young lassie from Fife,
And Roller Derby was her life.
She put on her skates
And made loads of mates,
And married her sweet Derby wife!

There was a team from Bath
Who didn't do skating by half.
They went hard or went home.
They'd broken some bone,
But they always had a good laugh.

Hell Cat leads the questioning...

There once was a young derby team,
Who had an elaborate scheme.
To raise lots of money,
They thought it was funny
To cover themselves in whipped cream.

(Next limerick to be read in a West Country accent!)

The thought of derby skating'
Gets my excitement inflatin'
You fall to the floor
And get hit 'til you're sore
Then ref calls "insubordinatin'!"

There once were some ladies from Bath,
Who fancied a jolly good laugh,
They upgraded their wheels
With yellows and teals
And kicked the other team's arse!

There once was a Bath Derby crew
Who made all the local boys coo
They lads would all stammer
To hip check their jammer,
But a leg whip would just have to do

A woman who came here from Stroud
Said "I don't see why you're all so proud!
It's just rugby on skates,
But you do look so great
Going round and around and around!"

Watch this space for details of the next BRDG pub quiz!

BRDG Send Cancer To The Bench...

After a Saturday of epic proportions (our very own Wheelia Smith's derby hen do, involving the awesome Bristol June Double Header, bowling, karaoke and enough cider to fell a Wurzel) an elite squad of Bath Roller Derby Girls shook off their not insignificant hangovers and headed out to run the Race For Life 5km.

With over 2,500 women running, there was an incredible atmosphere, huge support and all round general good vibes as we covered the distance; a determined speck of yellow in a sea of pink t-shirts and tutus. The endurance drills have clearly been paying off as we all made really good time - and even got a name check from the race announcers, Heart FM, as we passed over the finish line!

Cancer is the worst.

Race For Life raises money for all kinds of cancer research, but just to put things in context, 1 in 8 women will be affected by breast cancer during their lives. Statistically, that's 3 of our team - which is frankly unthinkable. Help us double-team shoulder check cancer so hard that it limps off to the changing rooms and never, ever comes back. Donate to our fundraising page here. Thank you.

Words: Hell Cat

Photo: Lazy Susan